These paintings were part of the ''Untitled desires'' solo show that took place in March 2023 at ''Cuibul Artistilor''. The concept started with a book that I'm working on that is based on my everyday desires and thoughts and a reflection upon them. Starting this book was a way of dealing with a difficult time in my life and creating these pieces was a more complex way of reflecting upon my Self and purpose. Each piece represents a visual depiction of one of the desires expressed in the book.
VULNERABILITY
90 x 100 cm
acrylic on canvas
‘‘I wish I had my period at least twice in a month. Not because I enjoy the pain and emotional outbursts, but because it teaches me that it’s ok to be vulnerable sometimes and accept help and love. Vulnerability is a quality I’ve always ran away from. It is a significant difference between ’’exposing’’ yourself, as a personal choice, or feeling so low that you don’t have the capacity to keep things in anymore, therefore your mind exposes you unconsciously, as a shout for help and consciously letting yourself experience vulnerability.’’
Nostalgia
90 x 100 cm
acrylic on canvas
‘‘I wish you were here. I am not sure if it’s because I know I won’t be able to hug you again, soon, or if there is a genuine desire to see you smiling next to me. My thoughts came to a point where they can not do anything else but confuse me more and more. I am like the wind, sometimes a nice summer breeze on a coast in Italy and some other times, a fucking tornado that destroys everything around.’’
The beauty of it all
90 x 100 cm
acrylic on canvas
‘‘I wish I could truly understand that this is more real than reality itself. The deeper layers of my subconscious send signals to my perception and distort it in such a way that my mind tricks itself in to believing that. Whatever I am feeling right now is nothing but a dream. Do not get me wrong, I love dreaming, especially when I do it with open eyes. I fight with my inner self to accept the beauty of it all. Acceptance of this mesmerising journey seems such a difficult process when the darkness of your mind has been rejecting any sign of light.’’
Duality
80 x 90 cm
acrylic on canvas
‘‘I wish I knew what I wanted. I wish I wouldn’t change my mind at the thought of the infinite possibilities life offers us. Is’s such a difficult process...to just know for sure. Simultaneously, this difficulty creates the idea of freedom we think we have, with regards to our own lives...Let’s not go back to that discussion...Let’s stay here, for a moment. Maybe I need an anchor. But I don’t want an anchor, I want to be able to fly away whenever I fee like it, I don’t want anything to hold me down.’’
Pain
90 x 100 cm
acrylic on canvas
‘‘I wish I couldn’t feel pain when it comes to teeth. My sleep was haunted with nightmares of them falling off for years. Today I’m in pain. Today I can’t be creative, but I can still reflect on my fears and how they impact my everyday life. I got to the realisation that I have this great power to make them go away. Is’s a hard process, but you got to trust it.’’